


Lagom

by saeyoungs-sunflower (sunnyclarke)



Series: Word Series [2]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26146234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnyclarke/pseuds/saeyoungs-sunflower
Summary: lagom (n.): a Swedish word meaning not too little, not too much. Just right.
Relationships: V | Kim Jihyun/Main Character, V | Kim Jihyun/Reader
Series: Word Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898611
Kudos: 6





	Lagom

“Right, I think we’re done.”

V scanned the apartment, squinting with the limited vision he had as checked one last time that the apartment was pristine. He was tidy by default, but today he was extra meticulous almost to the point of being obsessive. He needed everything to be perfect which, to be frank, was odd even for him. It was only MC who was visiting after all, and regrettably, she had seen a lot worse. He didn’t even need to invite her in the first place, he had only invited her to discuss a few things for the upcoming RFA party, even though everything was pretty much ready. _ What was he doing? _

V had been living in Rika’s old apartment ever since she had gone. He told everyone that he ‘had some old documents he needed to sort through’, though Jumin was the first see right through his friend’s lies.

V had always had trouble with letting go. Ever since they were little he had collected and hoarded anything that help any sort of sentiment. Train tickets, stuffed animals, he even had a shoe box full of every birthday card he had ever received. Jumin often wondered if this was why V wanted to become a photographer, believing if he captured a moment, he could cling onto it forever. This meant that when Jumin had requested on more than one occasion that he move out of the apartment and accept the treatment for his eyes, on more than one occasion it hadn't ended terribly well.

V was never one to break in front of others, but his whole universe had just been turned upside down, inside out and back to front. His whole routine was altered, the structure beneath him collapsed and the foundation of his life had split in two, and nobody seemed to grasp that. People around him would just tell him ‘it was for the best’, that the relationship he and Rika had was ’toxic’, that they were ‘better off without each other’. Even though everything they were saying was true, nobody understood the guilt he carried upon his back, only watching from the outside.

His sun was gone, and he was left in an eclipse.

Well, not everybody misunderstood. There was one woman, one incredible woman. She spoke so softly but was honest, she practically oozed warmth but wasn’t afraid to call him out when it was necessary, and she listened to him _._ Never once did she try to throw her opinions on his and Rika’s relationship at him, nor did she ever judge him for his seemingly never-ending grief. She told him the truth, but never dismissed anything he told her or used the classic ‘but surely you should be happy now your free from her?’ line. Because he wasn't free, at least not then.

Gradually, the load that weighed him down got lighter, and it was because MC was with him every step of the way, never leaving his side unless he needed space. She was so patient, and that’s probably why V now trusted her so wholeheartedly.

Because it’s just trust, right? This feeling in his gut is just strong trust and admiration, right? Right?

_ DING DONG _

_ Crap!  _ V was so lost in thought that he had completely spaced out. Why did his chest feel like someone was trying to punch their way out? MC had come over so many times - usually in the early hours of the morning when he was at his lowest… _ God _ , she was so patient with him - but he had never felt this on edge before. Sure, he had been pretty highly strung when she had visited in the past, but she had never been the cause of it. What he didn’t know, however, is that sometimes you need to be highly strung to be in tune.

Shaking the thought away to deal with the task at hand, V inched towards the door, giving one last glance over the apartment and smoothing down his shirt.  _ What was he doing? _

_ Click. _

_ “ _ Hello, MC.”

* * *

MC rocked back on her heals, staring at the door in front of her.  _ Just ring the doorbell, MC, for God’s sake, it’s not like it’s gonna bite.  _ She had reached for it a few times, but never fully committed, always wussing out at the last moment.  _ What was she doing? _

She fixed her hair and straightened her top before wiping her sweaty palms on her jeans. She took a deep breath and mentally counted down.  _ Okay, you’re gonna do this in 3…2…1… _

_ DING DONG _

_Crap!_ Her heart dropped, realising that there was no turning back now. She had been to V’s apartment countless times before, but V had been doing a lot better recently so there was really no reason for her to visit. It was extremely unexpected when he had randomly texted her asking if she could pop over to ‘discuss some details for the upcoming RFA party’, even though she was pretty sure she had everything covered. Maybe there was something she had missed, but even that could be dealt with over a simple phone call. Why did he need to see her in person?

Part of her was relieved though, as she had always worried that when he got better, he would stop needing her. Her visits would become unnecessary and she wouldn't be able to see him as often and she once did. She would miss him. It was a selfish thought, yes, but she was worried that he would disappear from her life, that he was slipping through her fingers, leaving her behind-

_ Click _

“Hello, MC.”

“Oh! Hello, V,” MC mentally scolded herself for the obvious increase of pitch in her voice, she was the one who rang the bell after all.  _ She must look like such an idiot. _

V gave her a warm smile, “Please, come in.”

Like the gentleman he is, he moved aside whilst holding the door open to welcome MC into the apartment. She felt a wave of nostalgia wash over her as she browsed the room she had spent so much time in over the years. There was the dining table where she had spent hours emailing potential party guests when she first joined the RFA, the coffee table she  _ always  _ stubbed her toe on when reading through the chatroom, and the little spot in the corner where she had held V in her arms when he couldn't find the strength within him to move and couldn't find the peace within him to sleep. She looked back proudly at the man as he shut the door behind her.  _ He's come so far,  _ she thought to herself.

“Can I get you a drink of anything? Tea? Coffee?”

“A cup of coffee would be lovely, thank you.”

“Sugar?”

“Two please.”

“No problem, if you would like to make yourself comfy I’ll be right back,” V smiled fondly at her, a smile that had never been absent, but seemed a little brighter than before.

MC placed herself on the couch, releasing a breath that had built up in her lungs. Why was she so agitated? She studied the apartment again, trying to fix her mind on something else. She noticed that nothing had changed or moved ever since she had lived there, everything was pretty much exactly the same. Though, upon inspection, it did look a little tidier than before.

* * *

V clicked the kettle on and started up the coffee machine before he finally let himself relax. Resting his hands on the counter and hunching over, he took a few deep breaths to ground himself. What was happening to him? He had had his fair share of anxiety attacks after everything that had happened in his life, and though the symptoms he was now experiencing were very similar, he didn’t feel like he was in danger, he didn’t feel an urge to run. In fact, something was calling at him to stay. His palms were sweating, his heart was racing, and his stomach was fluttering like there were thousands of butterflies- _oh._ So that was what butterflies felt like. 

But why? Why was he only now realising what butterflies was supposed to feel like?

After a minute to gather himself together, V grabbed two white mugs from the cabinet and began making the coffee for MC and green tea for himself, though it took longer than it should have due to his poor sight and trembling hands.

One thing that he had refused to admit to himself was that he found himself thinking about MC a lot. Like,  _ a lot _ . Even when he was doing such mundane things like washing the dishes, she wormed her way into his thoughts. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly  _ what  _ he was feeling, but it was  _ something,  _ and that something was becoming harder and harder to ignore. He felt it when he thought about her voice, her laugh, her eyes, her touch-

His hands wobbled, clashing full mugs against each other with enough force for the boiling liquid slosh over the brim.

_ Dammit.  _ Spilt the tea.

* * *

MC’s stomach did a little flip as V returned with their drinks and placed them on the coffee table before joining her on the couch.

“So, what was it exactly that you wanted to discuss?”

“Hm? Oh! Yes, um, it was about…”

And so they talked about the party, for around 10 minutes; but 7 hours, 6 cups of tea, 6 sugar cubes, 4 fits of giggles and one pizza delivery later, MC glanced at the clock above the TV only to discover that their little meeting had gone on for longer than either of them had originally intended, “Now, I don’t know if you’re aware, but we’ve been sat here for a very long time,” MC teased.

“Oh really? What time is it?” V returned with a small chuckle, blissfully unaware of how fast time had flown by.

“Just gone midnight.”

“What?! Oh my God, MC, I’m so so sorry, I shouldn’t have kept you this long!” he shot up, “I was just having such a lovely time I didn’t even consider how late it was getting. I can’t even see the damn clock! Oh, MC I’m really so sorry! I shouldn’t have been so selfish and irresponsible and at least asked if you wanted to leave-“

MC also stood up, arms out in an attempt to reassure the panicked man in front of her, “V no no no it’s okay! It’s not your fault-“

“I’ll call a cab for you, it’s too dangerous to walk home at this time-“

“V-“

“I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you. Oh God, what if something happens to you because of me-“

“V-!“

“Why do people always get hurt because of me?!”

“Jihyun!”

* * *

V snapped back to his senses at the sound of his real name ringing in his head and the feeling of hands gripping his shoulders.  _ Jesus… _ he had never meant for such a sudden outburst, but the words just came tumbling out. He looked down at MC to find she was looking straight into his eyes, refusing to break eye contact and…were her eyes filling up?

“V, listen to me, please,” she said steadily, “I will not stand here and let you say that about yourself. I will not let you return to the way you were months ago when you’ve come so far. Yes, you’ve made mistakes and yes, there are things that maybe you should have done differently, but look around you! You’re not in that place anymore. Everything is okay, I’m okay,  _ you’re  _ okay. Everything you have ever done was to help people in any way you could, you’re heart is so pure and good but you’re always so caught up in trying not to hurt people that you end up destroying yourself!” her voice cracked, “In all the time I’ve known you, I have never seen you  _ once  _ do something for yourself or tried to defend yourself. Please, for God’s sake, V, be selfish for once!”

V felt his eyes prickle with tears. She was looking at him with so much sincerity and kindness that he almost had to turn away as he didn’t feel he deserved any of it. But he stayed there, staring directly into the eyes of the woman who never gave up on him, vowing to himself that he would now never give up on her, either.  _ Could he be selfish? Did he even know how to?  _ After years of sacrificing himself to protect those around him and taking their pain away by drowning in it himself, it had been so ingrained in his head that he couldn’t do anything for himself. He knew exactly what he wanted to do in that moment, he knew exactly what he wanted to say. It was selfish, he knew that, but…

Maybe just this once.

* * *

MC attempted to blink away her tears whilst also focussing on the man before her. He was silent, and from her experiences she had learnt that silent V was never a good sign. She let the silence go on a little longer until she began to panic herself, “V…?”

She noticed something in his eyes shift, and felt one hand on her waist and the other cupping her cheek, brushing away a tear that had escaped. She scanned V’s face, looking for some kind of clue as to what he was going on behind those big turquoise eyes. Her heart stopped as she registered how close their faces were. She felt him start to close the gap, “V…”

Their lips brushed against each other once, and then everything spilled out. Every word that went unsaid, every touch that went ‘unnoticed’, every thought that was brushed away was communicated in one simple action. MC felt herself melt into his kiss, one that was so sincere yet filled with so much passion. She felt electricity soar through her veins as all her senses were taken over by  _ him _ . The way he smelt of vanilla, the taste on tea on his tongue, his static touch, his everything. MC wrapped her arms around V’s neck and ran her fingers through his hair, unable to get close enough to him.

Oh boy…

She had fallen hard this time.

And she was loving every second of it.

* * *

As he started to lean in, seconds before their lips made contact, he paused, waiting for her permission and giving her the opportunity to back out.

“V…” she whispered, her voice dripping with want.

The moment his name passed her lips, and when she didn’t move away, he decided to close the gap between them. V pulled MC closer to him, almost as though he was utterly addicted to her. Which, to be fair, wasn’t far from the truth. All he wanted to do was fall away from reality, not have to think about tomorrow or the day after or the day after that. He just wanted to be completely lost in her kiss.

Because that was the difference between MC and Rika. His heart sped up when seeing MC because of anticipation, not out of fear. His blood didn’t run cold, his whole soul warmed in her presence. MC was so soft, Rika was so sharp. He had loved Rika once and there was no denying that, but she was ill, and he knew that. He didn’t have any ounce of hatred towards her, he wasn’t capable of such an emotion, but he had moved on, and he could finally see that now.

Their lips broke apart for air, and they rested on each other’s foreheads as they tried to catch their breath.

V chuckled slightly at MC’s completely flushed face, despite the fact that he knew his face looked the exact same. They stayed there for a while in each other’s arms, and MC’s eyes had grown heavy and closed, though their foreheads were still touching. V noticed she was tired, and decided it was now or never, “MC?”

“Hmm?”

“I…I…”

She opened her eyes.

She was so beautiful.

_ Yes,  _ he thought,  _ this was right. Who was he kidding now? There was no longer any doubt. He knew what he was feeling, and he knew that this was the start of an incredible adventure. _

“I love you.”

She smiled.

“And I love you, V.”

* * *

**_20 years later._ **

MC was woken by the sun’s rays leaking in through their sheer bedroom curtains and the smell of pancakes coming from the kitchen. She usually woke up earlier than her husband, and it became an unsaid ritual that every Sunday morning she would make breakfast for the both of them whilst she let him have a lie in. MC had worked late the night before, so today was an exception. He wasn’t usually allowed to cook breakfast for them when he was tired after a few…incidents, which may or may not have resulted in blaring smoke alarms, the fire department and a some “slightly overcooked” toast.

MC pried herself out of bed and followed the delicious smell to the kitchen, not bothering to get properly dressed or have a shower or fix her horrific bedhead. She simply wrapped a robe around her and began her search. As soon as she saw that burst of turquoise in front of the stove, everything slowed down. MC felt warmth and tranquility blanket over her when he looked up and shot her a smile, the smile that was reserved just for her, “Morning, angel.”

“Morning, sweetie.”

Their pet names developed as a joke a year or so after they started their relationship, and they just kind of stuck. Everyone in the RFA did not hesitate to vocalise their disgust, finding the names cringey or cheesy. But with a stoke of mischief, the couple only proceeded to use them at any found opportunity, until it became second nature to the two of them and thee names just stuck.

MC took a seat on the breakfast stool, resting her chin in the palm of her hand as she studied her husband adoringly, “So, what is it today, chef?”

“Only the very best pancakes for you, ma’am.”

“So, Jumin’s recipe?”

“Hey!”

MC raised an eyebrow.

“…maybe.”

“I knew it!” she laughed, but it was that laugh where she threw her head back, a few snorts here and there. The laugh that always made V’s chest bubble with affection. It was impossible for him to find any part of this woman that wasn’t beautiful, and her joy just so happened to be her most gorgeous feature in his eyes. He placed a couple of cut up strawberries on top of the stack and slid over the plate, before taking out a cactus shaped mug and a large yellow mug with ‘Cup of Sunshine’ written across the side as he started to make coffee.

A comfortable silence fell upon the room as they shared their breakfast. A few minutes passed before MC checked the clock, “Uh, Jihyun, you might want to get going if you want to make it to your exhibition on time.”

“Really? What time is it?”

“10:30.”

“Oh crap, you’re right, I should go!”

MC smirked, “I know what I’m going to get you for your birthday.”

“And what’s that?”

“A watch.”

V playfully stuck his tongue out at MC, which caused her to erupt into giggles. These were his most treasured moments that they shared, the simple little moments that meant absolutely nothing to everyone else, but meant the world to him. He grabbed his bag and gave MC a quick peck on the lips, “Right, I’ll see you later then. Love you!”

“Love you too! Be careful okay?”

He smiled fondly at her, “I will do, give me a call if you need anything.”

And just like that, he was out of the door. He passed a dusty cane on his way out, which hadn't been needed and went unnoticed for many years, completely forgotten. MC sipped on her coffee.

Two sugars.

_ Just right. _


End file.
